I was often asked, "How long do you intend to breastfeed?" And my answer is "Forever". My mum was appalled by this, others tried to persuade me that 6 months is more than enough. Only breastfeeding mothers will smile in understanding.
After the initial struggle, it's become a very enjoyable activity for both EggEgg and I. He loves the closeness of it, I just love lying there stroking his hair. It's sensual. It's comfortable. (Gone are the nights when you go to bed with big rocks weighting on your chest. And surprise! I can even now roll over in bed in the morning without hurting or leaking!). It's quick (only 5 minutes now, instead of 45 minutes feeds!). Let's do this for forever!
Alas, alas. This is my final week of breastfeeding.
Looking back, I remember certain magical nights we shared. These will stay with me for life.
* One night when EggEgg was about one month old, he laid flat on top of me. I had a toy tortoise playing lullaby with soft flashing lights. EggEgg was staring at it dreamily in that semi-darkness, sucking, slowly, contented, as if nothing matters more in the world.
* When EggEgg was about 3 months old, I got feverish one night. I was shivering in cold, then sweating profusely in heat. I think he could sense my distress, and he longed for me. We ended up sleeping together in close cuddle, and I don't know whether I'm one who's protectively embracing him, or whether he's the one who's soothing me. When dawn came, all is fine.
* After an active day, EggEgg loves to lie in the bathtub enjoying his "baby sake". When Tonton catches him doing that he'd give a look of disapproval. I'd call EggEgg a "salty wet egg" and secretly let him continue.
In the mist, we'd gaze into each others eyes, as if we could see into each other's souls. Sometimes I'd feel terribly sad that another happy day has passed, and this unique day shall be no more. He will grow up, and where will I be? Will I be able to see him grow old and happy?
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.