Return of the 2yo madness (Part 1)

The third wave of terrible two is upon us. Bobo has turned from a quiet, obedient, cute boy into a monster almost over night. He screams and yells every 30 minute, as punctual and acidic as a sulphuric geyser.

Take last Tuesday as an example:
The weather is nice, I felt that I've been neglecting him recently, so I decided to take him to his favourite park. But I've forgotten that he's in the midst of his terrible twos.

After driving all the way to his Blenheim park 30 minutes away, I realised he has fallen asleep in his carseat. So parked the car, rolled down the windows, and took out a book and began to read patiently.  It's not usual that I wait for kids to sleep in the car, but the weather was pleasant, so why not have some quiet reading time?

Quiet and pleasant it was, until he wake up, screaming, "Mami... Mami!!"
"I'm here."
"Mami, I don't want!! "
"You said you wanted to come to this place. Now I've taken you here."
"I don't want!!"
"Ok let's go home then." (I have a bad feeling about this. Perhaps an early retreat is better than fighting a public battle.)
"But I don't want to go home!"
"Fine. Get out of the car then!"
"I don't want to get out of the car."

(Oh yes, it's coming back to me now.  The daily battles of "I don't want to get INTO the car" every morning when it's time to sent the older ones to school, and "I don't want to get OUT of the car" when we've reached the school/home. Take that 4 times per day multiplied by 5 days a week. The never-ending trivial Battle of Entering-and-Exiting-the-Bloody-Car happens 20 times per week.  If each episode rises blood pressure by 1 mmHg, I would be dead by now. )

After dragging him out of the car, and putting baby Ladder into the stroller, we proceed to his usual cubby house where he's fond of hiding.
"Mami!! Mami!!!! I can't climb up"
"Of course you can. You've done this many times before."
And he just stood there, refusing to even try.
By this time I'm completely out of energy to fight on. "Well if you can't climb let's go home then."
"I want to climb!!"
"Then go CLIMB!!"
@#%#@% IF he were a teenager, I would have thrown in some expletives.

By the time he got to the top, some more screaming. "Mam!! Mami!!"
The other women in the park turned their heads towards the sound of distress, mostly to check that it wasn't from their precious kids.
"What now this time?"
"I can't get down!"
"Just slide down as usual."
""I don't want to use the slide!!"
$#^$#$^@

"Let's go home." We walked past the sand pit, his #1 favourite place to look forward to.
"Mami!!!! I want to play in the sand."
"Ok go play, you naughty boy."
"But I want my bucket and spade"
"They are in the car, we need to go back to the car to get it"
The car was merely 20 meters from the sandpit. We could see the door from here.
"But i don't want to go to the car!!!"
"Then play without the bucket!!"
"But i want the bucket!!! Mami!!!!!"
#%@#%

"INTO THE CAR, N-O-W!!!!"

But I'm sad to say,

I'm on my way,

won't be back for many a day.

My heart is down,

my head is turning around,

I had to leave a little girl in Kingston Town.

(From "Kingston Town" by Harry Belafonte)