They made me cry

I cried.

For the first time in their lives, I cried loudly in front of them. Cola was stunned enough not knowing what to do, he seems calm. Restrained, just like Tonton.
Eggegg's touched too, so he started tearing up. He's a tad sensitive, like me.

The kids have driven me insane in the past 48 hours, with Bobo crying 10 20 times in the day, at the drop of a pin.  They are not bad kids, but with their sheer numbers, if 1 kid does a naughty act in 1 hour, that averages to a stressful incident every 15 minutes.  Which is much more than my sleep deprived system can handle.

I told them something they have never heard before:
"You know what? I used to be a funny person. Even funnier than your favourite uncle Alex."

EggEgg didn't believe me.  "But you are always angry," he said.

"I don't want to be angry. I want to be fun, and happy, and laughing all the time.  I like both of you very much, yes you and you. But these days I prefer to be with the younger ones, because, they make me laugh. Whereas you just do naughty things and make me upset.

For example, when I bough you a toy, an arts supply, etc. I want you to enjoy it. I pay for it with my money!  But what did you do? You played with it, then just chuck it on the floor, step over it or loss parts of it. And when it's broken, what do you do? You just don't care and send it to me for repair.  I'm so sad, and you never realised.  I wanted you to enjoy the things I gave you.

For example, when I took you out for somewhere fun, like the zoo or the beach, I want all of us to have a fun time together. But what do you do? You fight over a spade, you complain about the heat, you complain about hunger, this and that. How does that make me feel?

For example, when I wake up early on Sunday morning to bake you things you like, or yesterday I made you a fresh batch of play doh.  But you make a big mess all over the floor and on the table.  I feel so tired! I'd rather stay in bed and sleep. I really want to play with you, but i have no more energy left.

I punished you and punished you but it didn't change anything. I cancelled your afternoon tea, cancelled your iPad time, but you are still the same. I smack you and it hurt, doesn't it? I feel really sad too, and at night I have nightmares after I smacked you. I feel so sorry for you.

Can you make me happy? Can you don't make me cry? I want to be a funny, happy mum to play with you all the time."

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And after the flood gate opened, as always, my mind calmed down with a state of clarity never before.  Solutions just popped into my head. Suddenly I understood why they did all those annoying things.
And I came up with a new plan.  The 4 token system.

That night, over dinner, I explained all about the new reward system. There's a token for politeness ("Say hello to Daddy and visitors"), a token for punctuality (Going to school, bath and bed on time), a token for cleanliness (brush your teeth, clip your finger nails, clean tables) and a token for caring (caring for things, people, siblings)

Their reward for collecting those tokens? 10 tokens get to spend a special 30 minute one on one time with ME! (Other choices are: an hour on the computer game, a trip to the cake shop, $1 in cash) The kids are thrilled. Cola was so confident that he will get all the tokens by tomorrow. EggEgg was already pondering what to do if we collect 20 tokes.
The next day.

It worked like a charm. I don't know if a woman's tears can change the world, but the kids are so gentle and considerate and punctual and clean that I am very very touched. It's the first time I kissed EggEgg on the cheeks as I drop him off to school.

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Postscript:
The token system worked surprisingly well.  There was peace and gentleness in the household for the next two months. That is, until EggEgg sabotaged the system by stealing Cola's tokens. I only found out when EggEgg started claiming prizes every other day, whereas Cola lagged behind.

Are we back to square one?