Bloody weekly News topic

EggEgg's school has been assigning weekly News topics since kindy.  It is a much dreaded part of homework, because not only it involves public speaking, it also means the kids have to write up a composition.  After struggling with 4 terms of kindy News, I thought Year 1 might bring improvement.

Last year, there was a Year 1 News topic: "Hot and Cold experiment. Students may choose 2 items and describe what happens after heating it, and cooling it.  Photos or pictures may be used.  An example which has been done at school is an ice-block."

After thinking for a long, long while, EggEgg has decided to choose popcorn and rice for his topic.  He was lazy, didn't bothered to work on it until the final night, which, in desperation, I even had to prompt him to take a picture of the raw rice and cooked rice.

He wrote his draft, "Good morning. Today I am going to talk about hot and cold.  First I want to talk about corn. Corn is hard."
"Ahem, EggEgg. Can you describe how hard?"  (His speech always bores me to death. Colorless.)
"Err... Corn is... VERY... hard...?"
"Duh. I mean, you can compare it's hardness to another object."
"Ok, I get it.  Corn is hard.  It is... hard... like... a corn!"
Luckily I always have low blood pressure. Otherwise I might suffer a stroke right there.


******************
This year's topic is, "Your local environment.  Using a map, describe the location of your house in relation to your school."

EggEgg, in Year 2, writes:
"Good morning. Today I am going to talk about my local environment. My house is in Beecroft."
"Where exactly?"
"Beecroft!"  (He raised his eyes, as if I didn't hear it the first time round?)

"Do you live in the entire Beecroft? There's a thousand houses here. How do you get to school from here?"
"First, I need to walk down the staircase.  Then I walk out and then down a few more steps..."

"(Violent coughing. I can see blood.)  I mean, look at the map that's in your hands! Where are we? How do we get from this point to this point? You have to write about what is out there, EggEgg!"
"There! That is my school."
"What else is there around your school?"
"There is a sign that says 'Walk Slowly'"

I can't bear the depth of this idiocy anymore.  He talked about everything except the traffic lights, the local landmarks like the fire station, the train station or the church.  His myopia makes him stare only in the face of useless road signs and staircase?

After banishing EggEgg away for 5 minutes of individual thinking, this is his improved version,
"Mami, I know what to write now. From my school, you turn right...
(Quite a promising start)
... then you get to the corner, you go to the corner, then you go to another corner, then you walk to the next corner... after going to 3 more corners... you cross the road.. and my house is on the corner."

Pray my blood pressure continues to stay low, or I might not live long enough with each year's fresh shocks to the system.