少奶奶

In the Chinese language, there is a term "少奶奶" which refers to women who are being served by maids, who does not need to look after her kids, and have the time and money to spend on doing hair, nails and going to mahjong and parties.

Ah well, I'm retired from paid employment for 7 years already, but still far from attaining the status of being a 少奶奶.

How do you define a person who's job description includes:
* Jumping up in the middle of the night at the slightest coughing sound, just to check on whether somebody is cold from having no blanked or just rolled off the floor? Dragging your butt out of the warm bed especially during winter?  Heart pumping at screams, not knowing if it's merely a nightmare, or an asthma attack?  If my heart were weaker, I would have had a stroke.

* Running on empty stomach, juggling to the simultaneous demands of somebody wanting a pick-up, and somebody wanting his breakfast, and somebody needing help with stripping his bed after wetting it?

* While baby is preoccupied with playing with his feet, rushing to make lunchboxes, babycinos, wiping up cereal mess, and get back to baby in time before baby start fussing?

* While baby is asleep for his brief morning nap, finishing my own breakfast at 11am, and giving Cola his weekly piano lesson and cutting Bobo his favourite fruits?

* In no time when baby is awake and distracted with the musical mobile, I sneaked out to the garden to water the plants, tidied up the garden toys, clipped some herbs, marinaded the chicken for dinner, and returned in time when the mobile needs winding up again.

And this person plans events, sets up xmas decorations, installs new equipment (bike kick stands, schoolwork drawers, LED lights), fixes broken toys after everyone is asleep, shop from the Internet while breastfeeding in bed, arrange school pick ups with random kids napping in the car, go through the days school homework while breastfeeding in the arm chair.

Being the central repository of knowledge ("I'm at the chemist now, er, which vitamin should I buy for which kid, Mami?"), the upholder of justice ("I was playing the piano first" "No, he left the seat a few minutes ago"), the accurate lie detector ("Did you forget to do your spelling homework, or did deliberately choose not to do it? EggEgg, tell me the truth.")

Throw in to the mix the fact that Bobo who's just started his terrible two attention seeking and refusal to cooperate, its a full house indeed.

So, whats the job title for such a role? And the appropriate annual remuneration?

少奶奶...少奶奶...少奶奶... It's the equivalent of people asking me, "So, since you are not working, you must be bored at home."